Christmas Party


That’s about the size of it.  Bravery is a necessary component of life.  Without bravery there is no life.  That is the most harebrained idea I have driving east down 9th Avenue this afternoon.  What happens when you just don’t know?  You’re looking for one final gift and you act on instinct.  Just deleting your account won’t help.  Not after this.  And there needs to be push-back.

Couldn’t agree more.  Undermines their tangled web.  Just put on the headset and we bring it to you.  That’s gift giving.

Did you say “Crinklies”?  That’s what disconnected thoughts sound like.  They do that. “Crink”.  They come in packages 40 to a box.  Superstore carries the 400 family size. Crinklies are round and about the size of a Ritz cracker except they’ve been around a lot longer than Ritz crackers.  They’ve outlasted them, like they said they would.  The stale taste is part of it.

Christmas crinklies and time.  There’s no difference.  It’s like “Fiddle Faddle”.  A memory you can’t get rid of.  And why would anyone try? Crinklies are good.  Mocha, ginger, a flash of arborite and and a long sausage finish.  Grease is good for you.  It’s too stupid but they’re under every tree every year.  It’s like Steve Allen only better.

December 19, 2016.  States brought the potted olive bush in because she thought it might die in the cold. It sat on the step-up to the upper deck just inside the sliding glass door. The temperature’s warmed up a bit and there’s quite a layer of sloppy wet snow on deck and the plant is back out there. It gives us a warm sloppy feeling.

Later.  Our inveterate happy partyer millionaire neighbour is out there on his deck even now at 5 pm in the cool blackness.  He’s with a couple of friends. I can hear their raucous, manly laughter. It sounds pretty raucous. They’re raucous-ing it up over there. They just went inside.  That wonderful time of year is back.

Sverdlovsk Dusk
Sverdlovsk Dusk With Putin Banners

I couldn’t really see them because he has a large rooftop deck and they were at the north-end or downtown view side.  He’s paying for it.  He’s a generous person.  He loves to share and have people over.  That’s my thought. That’s what I’ve heard about him.

We did a lot of work around the place in anticipation of all the hard partying we’ll be doing here Christmas Eve. It’s thoroughly modern, keeping up with the dust.  Battling the clutter is an exquisite feeling, difficult to describe.  So hard to get motivated.  So good.

We do everything for you. And for all of you who have to do everything, and do it, and do it well, that’s all I’m gonna say.  Thanks very much.  Is greatly appreciated by all mother Russiya’s children.


There’s no other way to characterize it.  It’s a big tree for big people doing big things.  And really, it doesn’t matter what time of year it is.  It’s a nice little town and I hope I never go back there.  You try to dis-imagine that you’re stuck in Sverdlovsk.  It’s all you’ve got until you finally get out of here.  Later there’s nostalgia.  And it’s hard.  You miss Sverdlovsk like cancer.  That Russian tour was a beast.  Why do we do it to ourselves?  We do it for the love.

December 20.  No.  It’s better than that.  You scrape the tin-foil off the truffle and down she goes.  That’s when you know you’re in time again to the music.  Death by Christmas music.  One more Feliz outta you and this Navidad is over.  Holly jolly my stained neck muffler.

I’m in line behind this guy at “Customer Service” at the “Liquor Depot” who’s complaining bitterly there’s no Fireball on the shelves.  How can you be out of Fireball especially at this time of year?  Catastrophe.  All I’m after is the key to the washroom, but it’s okay.  This time of year you need patience.

December 21. So that’s it.  I’ve always liked December 21.  It means you’re getting close.  Close to the end and you can wrap a bow on it.  You don’t have to think.  Around here you can relax.  We’ll talk about it at the break.  The idea completely resonated with me when I first heard it.  Content-free content.  As chanteuse Dua Lipa so eloquently puts it,”I ask myself what am I doin here?”

I love the expression “Happy Holidays”.  And I doubt there was ever any irony intended.  I’m in good shape now.  I have time to do those final little things that are still out there and need to be gathered in as gifts.  I don’t need the car anymore.  I can walk out in the early morning and take care of it before traffic gets too bad.


Next on samoyeddogs Monsieur Charles Baudelaire in connection with an upcoming poetry reading.  Happy holidays….












Author: Steven Brown


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