Go Get Us

Sarah Huckabee Sanders bitching about how America has been nice to Canada over the years. How entertaining. With the implication that it’s no more Mr. Nice Guy for you, effing Canada. The bully boy’s on the block now and you’re going to pay. It’s pay-back time.

So what does the great country of America really hope to gain by beating up on Canada? Answer: We’re doing it because we can, dumbass Canadians. You’re dealing with great Americans now. We ain’t taking it on the chin anymore from you bastards up there.

What can we, as Canadians, do when we’re being insulted like this? Answer: Enjoy it while you can. We know that America is the greatest country in the universe, that they won “World War II” and “The Great War” and “The Civil War” and “The American War” and “The Cold War” and are tough, mean and ready to kill you with a bad deal.

We know Americans have paid the price in blood and we know about accountability, that countries are responsible for their own well-being and that America has contributed to peace, prosperity and progress all over the world in defence of freedom and democracy out of all proportion to what they needed to and just because they could. If that’s all over welcome to mean times, America.

We’re as tired of you being taken advantage of as you are. Just like America we’ve had it! We’re sick of America taking the hit. That’s why we’re tariff-ing up. We’re here to help.

If there’s one thing we can’t stand it’s when things ain’t fair when you’ve been nice. It’s bad manners and we hate that because we’re polite. We’re with you, great America. It sticks in our craw.

It’s disgraceful to see a bunch of Canadians being so ungrateful. We despise ourselves too if that’s the way you want it. Nothing is going to stand in our way about that. We know there’s no chance of ever being up to your standard in niceness and the effrontery, we agree, is galling. We better watch out.

And that’s what we’re doing. We’re taking a long hard look at ourselves. Everybody on the planet should do it. It’s refreshing. No more illusions. We know we can never be as great or as nice as America and we don’t want to be. That’s your job.

We have no intention of trying to take that away from you. That’s no fun. We’re sticking with what we know. So thank you, Sarah, for pointing out what a hard job it is to be nice to us. We’re with you every step of the way.

We’re So Nice

 

February 2017

It’s tough to be apolitical.  Sometimes you just can’t.  There’s an old saying in aerodynamics.  If it looks right it’ll fly right.  And that’s not happening here.

Chicago Tribune Image Grab
Chicago Tribune Image Grab

Something doesn’t look quite right here.  The aerodynamics are off.

Mattel, makers of the talking Kellyanne Conway doll, announce a life-size version.

There was a time when this reporter said, and he always said this, whether he was just trying to be funny or who knows what, “It’s probably the greatest name that was ever invented.  I never met a “Steve” I didn’t like.”

It sounds stupid but those days are gone.  It didn’t start with this guy exactly.  But the expression itself had its origin in something a guy named Will Rogers once said.  “I never met a man I  didn’t like.”  However improbable or implausible a concept, Will did apparently say that.

The Globe&Mail published a piece on the weekend by Robert Everett-Green about Masha Alyokhina.  in 2012 Masha Alyokhina was tried and jailed with two other members of “Pussy Riot” after a performance at a Moscow cathedral.

Masha, 28, has some interesting things to say.  “The modern history of Russia is written in the courtroom.  There are really  no opposition politicians who don’t have criminal cases against them.”

Masha co-founded “Mediazona” in 2014. Mediazona “Mediazona covers all topics connected with freedom in Russia, police violence, political violence and political courts,” says Masha.

“In two years we have changed the media discourse.  Before us, nobody covered political courts, prisons and police violence.  Now, because we are quite big (in terms of readership), others have to cover it too, even state media.  They do it in the old way, like propaganda, but they have to cover it, to be in opposition to us.”

Masha rejects comparisons of Donald Trump with Vladimir Putin.  “The difference between Trump and Putin is really big.  Putin is a product of the Russian state-security service, which has a long history of repression, almost a century.  Trump is just an asshole.”

This is a general, all ages site that doesn’t go in for a lot of swearing and cursing.  We save that for the TV.  But I thought that if the Globe can publish that word I can do it here once.

Back to “Honey Badger” Steve-o Bannon.  You may have read that the honey badger is his favourite animal and an animal he compares himself to.  Yes, he wasn’t joking.  Something to do with the badger’s thick skin and how Bannon, like the badger, can make it through the most violent personal attack.  He is unperturbed.  You can tell that by the simpering expression usually adorning his face.

Bannon’s due for a spanking and it’s only a matter of time.  Maybe it’ll be Kellyanne Conway, maybe it won’t, but one of these days somebody’s going to pull down his pants and tan his hide.

Here’s a link to the Globe&Mail story if you’re interested in reading the whole thing.

Dissident Russian artists try to break through ‘the zone of message control’

dscn0995

Have a great evening…

 

 

 

Make America Hate Again

samoyeddogs News Aggregator Is On The Air

Cut Throat Productions executive producer Fritz Jones declared himself “very happy” in a recent interview with samoyeddogs that ABC has picked up his new half hour experiment “Alien Zombies in the White House” airing Tuesday nights starting this January. “It’s a comedy show with some horror and reality TV and some other stuff,” says Fritz. “Yeah, it was great to get Chris back.”

Chris, of course, is the hunky Chris Hemsworth, star of “Kid With the Mask”, ABC’s ratings stand-out cancelled earlier this week. “It was time for a change and Chris and I both saw that, so yeah, the Kid had to go,” says Fritz. “But we couldn’t be more excited about Alien Zombies in the White House.”

Looking forward to the premiere.

In other news the site couldn’t help notice yesterday’s story in the Los Angeles Times that newly minted White House chief political strategist Stephen Bannon has revealed plans for a corps of attack dogs trained to go after black people, muslims, people of the Jewish faith and “Anybody else who gets in our way”.

The “Freedom” dogs will be a special breed of white Alsatians.  Bannon says he got the idea from movie director Samuel Fuller’s 1982 production of “White Dog” that starred Kristy McNichol, Paul Winfield and Burl Ives in which an injured stray white dog is nursed back to health only for it’s new owner to discover the normally tame and mild-mannered hound metamorphoses into a vicious killer every time he encounters a person of colour.

“It’s a brilliant movie and I love old movies,” says Bannon.  “I really dig ’em.  We feel attacking black people is a good start but it’s an idea that has great potential for expansion.  Our freedom fighting corps of white canines should be ready to go within weeks of the inauguration.  It’s going to be superb.”

Initial plans call for a 100 dog training facility on the White House South Lawn.  Once training is complete the dogs will be released around the Washington, DC area.

“We’ll see how it goes,” said Bannon.  “We’d like to see white freedom dogs in all 50 states.”

Entertainment Weekly is reporting president-elect son-in-law Jared Kushner has retained the services of a smile coach in an effort to help him look less menacing when confronted with news photographers and reporters.

“The media’s so biased when it comes to the unsuitability of Donald as president,” said Kushner.  “We know he’s unsuitable.  That’s the point.  But there’s so much bias.  It makes me angry when I’m confronted by these losers with their damn cameras and questions, but I don’t want to, you know, scare the kids.”

When asked to comment on Stephen Bannon’s white freedom dog initiative Kushner, who is Jewish, said, “No comment at this time.”

It’s just a matter of time before they get that one sorted out.

Have a wonderful evening.

We’ll be right back.

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