Classic Rain Prize

Classic rain, classically falling. Classic wet streets. Umbrellas. Classic. Classic rainy traffic. Classic incessant rain, coming down incessantly. It’s incessant. Classic sound of rain hitting things, plopping onto things. People. Buildings. Classic puddles. Classic wet clothes, jackets and coats and raincoats. Simply classic.

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Glad we got that settled. I’m trying to be brilliant all the time but I’m just living my life too, you know? You have to do something. You have to drive over to Main Street for a meat market roast and hit the bookstore right next door for that volume of poetry you’re now apparently looking for.

The shop didn’t have it. Wait. Right now let’s just check “Chapters” over here at Broadway and Granville. Back. Looks like not. What the ****. They had Kevin Spenst’s “Jabbering With Bing Bong” when I needed it, or thought I needed it. “The News” was published five weeks ago. Where is it? Rob Taylor.

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“I write for free for myself but I don’t write for free for money earning entities. I won’t donate my work to the corporation but I will work for the corporation.”
“We can offer you nothing down and no prospects of anything, but plenty of nothing.”
“I’ll take it, and thanks for the opportunity.”


October 25, 1916. I mean 2016. You know what I mean. 12:32 am.
Dithering with sending a story to a local contest. Deadline is tomorrow at 5 pm. I mean today. Later today.

I wish I’d known years ago what the pursuit of literature really entails. Even if you publish your book, aside from the succès d’estime and a couple of reviews here and there, if you’re lucky, the game is over very quickly. A few libraries buy your book, and a few are sold in stores and online and then the whole thing is over.

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I now fully understand why the vast majority of creative writers are hooked to some sort of school. Because for the vast majority there’s absolutely no money in literature. So people become teachers, some of them creative writing teachers, inviting new generations of hopefuls to the worst game in the world. Doesn’t matter. Nobody asks you to waste your time in literature. You do it for the luv.

Later that afternoon. I see that Madeleine Thien has won the Governor General’s Award for fiction for “Do Not Say We Have Nothing”. She deserves it. I’ve said she’ll win the Giller and the Booker too.

Did I mention the October 15 edition, Saturday, of the Globe&Mail’s “Books” section carries a half page ad for the book? The ad quotes a mere four reviews. One from the Globe & Mail, one from the New York Times, one from The Guardian over there in England, and one from the Vancouver Sun. Mine. So I must write damn good copy, but the last little while, possibly longer, I don’t feel like much of a writer. I wanted to publish novels too, darnit.  Shucks.  Thus far it’s zilch.

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I’m in Zilch City here and the rain is really coming down. Zilch is known for sparse accommodations, execrable food and nothing to do day or night. You can’t get anything in Zilch. There’s no gas stations and not even a convenience store. Zilch is a little piece of dirt with a puddle in the middle of it. A lot of people really hate this town.

Cheer up, Steve. You’ll never be Madeleine. Remember? She was born the year you dropped out of creative writing.  Years later she didn’t drop out of the same program at the same school.

Later. Like 3:57 pm later. Well, Madeleine didn’t win the Booker. Paul Beatty did. Who? Paul Beatty. The winner was announced within the last hour or so. The prize was handed out by the Duchess of Cornwall. The who? You know, Prince Charles’ bride. Camilla, mate. Camilla.  Madeleine’s still a shoo-in for the Giller November 7.  You read it here.

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Just finished reading all four or five articles on Paul Beatty in “Guardian Books”, the Booker winner from America who I’d never heard of before about an hour ago. Looks like his “The Sellout” is pretty fair stuff. I’ll put it on my list with last year’s Booker winner “A Brief History of Seven Killings”. Marlon James.

Sins gid.

The White Dog

I knew I’d get to this.  It’s not about the dogs.  I mean generally.  Specifically, from time to time, it might be about a specific white dog.  When it happens, Trump me, it’s a rare occurrence.  I mean trust me.  I don’t know what I mean.  I think I know what I mean.

That Is A Tired Animal
That Is A Tired Animal

All the leaves are brown.  Leaves are falling one by one.  The falling leaves drift by my window.  “The white dog” is also an expression from bourbon making.  I remember having the pleasure of being in the fine town of Loretto, Kentucky one fine, fall afternoon.  There wasn’t a single, largish, white fluffy dog in sight.  I felt good about that.  Because I get all squishy and sentimental.

No, I was in Kentucky this beautiful day under the bright, Kentucky sun, to learn about the white dog.  What it is.  And what it can do.  And maybe most importantly of all, where it comes from.  Because pedigree is everything in bourbon making.


Debate #3.  “She’s slaughtering him.  He doesn’t know what to do so it’s motormouth.  Uh-oh.  He’s glaring at the camera eye of America again.  If I don’t get my way there’s gonna be trouble.  Tremendous trouble.”

Then it’s, “If I don’t win I won’t accept it.”  It’s a scream.   Go ahead and don’t accept it then!  Go on.  Go around not accepting it.  You don’t accept it.  I understand that you don’t accept it.  What I’ve heard, and you can bring some clarity to this, is that you don’t accept it.  So then, you don’t accept it.  You don’t accept it.  Tell me again you don’t accept it.

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And then it’s,”You know what?  I don’t ******* care if you don’t accept it.  And you want to know something else?  I don’t ******* care.  And if you haven’t heard, I don’t ******* care if your **** falls off and your ******* useless ******* campaign and your useless ******* attempt to take over America has ******* failed.  **** you.


“White Dog” is what the whisky makers of America, or quite a few of them, call the clear, distilled liquid they have produced from corn and a few other things that is set to be poured  into those new American oak barrels whose innards have been slightly charred.          Burned by fire.  And it’ll be staying there for at least a couple of years until it ain’t white no more.  Usually longer.

It's Black and White
It’s Black and White

The White Dog is a symbol of elegance and purity.  That must be what that’s about.  And pride and honour and coherency.  Donald just likes being on TV and being the incoherent centre of attention.  And Donald Trump needs a break.  You look beat, boy.  He needs to get back to entertainment because he’s going to be needing the money.  It’s just funny.

Moving on…

Patricia Johnston

We didn’t realize that those painted panels over the windows in the forward lounge aren’t some sort of happy accident but were put up there by artist Patricia Johnston.

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Patricia Johnston