I’m so tired Nana

December 24, 2014.  1:34 a.m.  So tired.  Obviously down with a virus. Wondering and making excuses but here it is.  Feels like the flu and it’s still around since the 20th.  As I keep saying, “It’d be a lot worse, I’m pretty sure, if I wasn’t getting the flu shot.” I believe it even if it may not be true.  Tired.  Impatient.  Disinterested.  Sick.

I was insane this afternoon doing some housework to tidy up the place for our Christmas Eve party. Fortunately, States was up the hill and around doing and getting for the party so I can scream and blaspheme all I want.

Every little thing is an aggravation and you just bellow it out at the vacuum cleaner.  Any stupid, aggravating mistake you make or something isn’t cooperating and it’s bloody murder.  Then you sigh mightily and get on with it because you’re British.

But it’s tough slogging.  You keep going and manage to wrap your presents, an astounding feat of staying power.  It’s just that, knowing you Nana, you expect your gift to be wrapped. I’m not gonna mess with that and maybe get myself killed.

So we’re down to the last few precious hours til the birth of the baby Jesus two thousand and fourteen years ago. Right off the top, you know, it doesn’t get much more ridiculous than this.  Nana, I’m so tired.  So tired of Christmas.  Xmess!  Jesu Christo!

Avanti!  Gaarrgggggugugula….

That’s a lot of Gs, but that’s how I’m feeling.  I’m so tired.

10:34 a.m.  Christmas lights look good around here.  Tree solid.  Presents a-building under.  Funny how just looking at that reminds you of when you were a kid.   That’s when Chrismas was special, cheaper, and much less of a hassle.  Somebody else was taking care of everything.  So tired.

So that’s it. Hope you can make it to the party, Nana.  Hope I don’t catch you lying on the side of the road somewhere, eyes like two pee-holes in the snow.  That would be wrong. You can make it in your nightgown.  It’ll be fine.  Moving on.

Can't believe I used to drink and smoke
Can’t believe I used to drink and smoke

Here’s a picture of me at an early Christmas Eve party.  It was getting to the end of a good year and I was just turning 21. I mean 41.  Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, Nana, but I, like everyone else, am effected by the passage of time. Very strange effect.  And you wonder.  You do.  Where’s it all lead?

No response to the question needed.  We know where it leads.  It leads to the Christmas Eve party.  Get through that and you’re golden, sweet, awesome as well as privileged.  Tonight will be the 21st in a row.

See soon Nana.  Huggies and teddy bears.

Could you run that by me again?

Philip Larkin (1922 – 1985)

1988
1988

Philip Larkin was born in England in 1922 and died in England in 1985.  He lived most of his life in England.

I really like Philip Larkin.  I discovered him by myself.  No one introduced me to his work and he was never covered in any course I took.

Before I bought this volume I hadn’t read a single poem by Philip Larkin.  I was curious about this crazy looking bump-head with the coke-bottle glasses.

He looked so, I don’t know….  Official.  Straight-laced.  Conservative.  His work is anything but.

I read a few poems and got interested in Philip Larkin. I read one of the two novels he published in his twenties – “Jill.”  I found it a very impressive accomplished novel for a guy who was only in his twenties.  I went back to the poetry.

If you didn’t like the use of the word “f**k” and its derivatives in a poem in 1967 Philip Larkin wasn’t for you. He didn’t care. He’d worked as a small town librarian in post-war England.  He was educated at Oxford University.  He worked at Queen’s University, Belfast.  He was a close friend of Kingsley Amis.

“Collected Letters” edited by Anthony Thwaite, published in 1992 by Faber & Faber is a great read. Great biography too by Andrew Motion published by Faber & Faber in 1993.

Janice Rossen wrote a great appreciation of Philip Larkin’s work published by University of Iowa Press in 1989. These are just the books I’ve read. I see there’s a massive new biography of the poet by James Booth, just published by Bloomsbury Press.

I recall one memorable passage from the Andrew Motion bio where Philip Larkin finds himself under the necessity of asserting the rights of authors against some publishing scheme.

Philip Larkin was said to have restored poetry to the British people.  Not sure what anybody meant by that.  He was, during his lifetime, quote, “England’s most beloved poet.”

Others called him a curmudgeon, misogynist and worse.

He edited the Oxford Book of Twentieth Century English Verse.

For years he wrote about jazz.  He published his columns in “All What Jazz”, published by Faber & Faber.

He published “Required Writing”, a collection of his occasional pieces, published by Faber & Faber.

He was Head Librarian at Hull University in England from 1955 until his death.

He never married. There were no kids.  He had a long term relationship with Monica Jones.  They were living together at the time of his death.

“Letters to Monica” was published by Faber & Faber in 2011.

I would say that Philip Larkin was singularly unimpressed with many things.  Many other things made a great impression on him.

His poems have attitude, wit, beauty and form.

2003
2003

I’ll be reading some of Mr Philip Larkin’s poetry for the DPRS (Dead Poets Reading Series http://www.deadpoetslive.com/) downstairs at the VPL (Vancouver Public Library) main branch in the Alice MacKay Room, Sunday January 11, 2015 at 3 pm.  Hope to see you there…

‘When I see a couple of kids…’

Christmas Creep

Go Green
Go Green

It sounds awful but it’s just an observation.  Was an observation because Christmas Creep is already over.  It’s so last month.  But in another sense it’s still here and I’ve been tasked with explaining what I mean, which could be tough.

It’s sitting in a big traffic jam while “The Nutcracker” is serendipitously crackling over the car radio.  It does.  And you feel it.  It’s calming your slightly aggravated nervous system because for a moment or two it’s like a movie.  A kind of interesting movie and you’re in it, trying to get to the next shopping event.  All you want to do and where do all these cars come from?  You’re in one of them.  Christmas is on it’s way.

It’s December 7th but won’t be for long.  You’ve got such a lot to do, to accomplish.  And you wasted the whole afternoon trying to activate a phone.  No is activated, Señora.  Drive around looking for a refund at the local Furor Shop, get it, and more precious time has been lost.  And the phone came from Ontario and you were assured…

It has to work on the network.  You paid for it.  You can’t phone it in.  It’s Christmas.  You have to be there.  The hours pile up and you’re just trying to get through, trying to get through because the days are dwindling down.  If you don’t get those new lights somebody’s gonna die.  No they aren’t.

You just want to get through.  Through to the next round.  And you’re determined it go well as long as nothing, and nobody, tries too hard to impact your efforts.  Watch out.

Insert Caption Here
Insert Caption Here

Everything’ll be all right.  Nana said so.  We’re adults.  We’re human beings.  We’re civilized and most of us use turn signals.  When it doesn’t happen there’s a brief frisson of irritation, which is what a frisson is all about.  It’s a brief thing.

Most definitely.  I remember that expression and I’m trying to remember the era in which it flourished.  Any help, or promotional consideration, cash, charge or debit is, as always, very greatly appreciated.

More to come…