Category: Absurdities

Sorry February

I want to thank you for that, as one of my mentors once said.  I want to thank you for your graces, February, and sorry I didn’t get back to you a little sooner.  It’s the Canadian in me.  And I was thinking about that.  Where was I this morning?  Yes.  Driving wonderfully, hitting the greens beautifully and making good time, which is important, but not always guaranteed.  I was thinking I’m so Canadian.  It hit me hard.

It’s tough.  It’s tough realizing what you are, and how little you can do about it.  Canadian.  Born but not bred.  A wild, uncontrollable baby and it’s never changed.  February’s half over and it’s like I’ve been avoiding it.  Like I don’t care.  I’m sorry about that, Feb.

Boredom is a terrible contagion.  Plus when you stumble onto the ‘Apathy’ app.  It’s new.  Check it out.  Works great.  Create an account and you don’t have to give a darn about a whole bunch of stuff.  You can care less.

I should have got here sooner but just didn’t feel like it.  It’s terrible.  It’s February and all this darkness is so tiresome, but give the month a chance and maybe it’ll add some lightness and everybody should be encouraged but they don’t have to be if they don’t want to because they’re on their own and and and…  That is an example of a run-on sentence.  Remember those?  Run run.

Everybody needs a break and that certainly includes February.  February’s a good kid and is getting brighter all the time.  Sure it is.  It’s a wonderful month.  Sometimes you just don’t want to think about it.  Everybody knows what that’s about.

If only it was true.  I don’t know what happened here.

DSCN9844But February is great.  I love this month.  It’s still the start of the year.  Brand new days.  Get to be born and re-born.  Just like a lot of other people so you feel that sense of community, that compulsion to isolate yourself.

February, more surprises are in store.  We’re gonna find some new categories!  We are!  And a bunch of other changes you can’t get too hyped about either because they just may never happen.  Thank you for hanging in there.  “I realized changes needed to be made.  I couldn’t make them”.

But you can make them.  Changes are in the offing.  The offing.  Where exactly is that anyway?

Newly Discovered Islands In The Sky
Newly Discovered Islands In The Sky

Makes about as much sense as anything else around here.

I’m so tired Nana

December 24, 2014.  1:34 a.m.  So tired.  Obviously down with a virus. Wondering and making excuses but here it is.  Feels like the flu and it’s still around since the 20th.  As I keep saying, “It’d be a lot worse, I’m pretty sure, if I wasn’t getting the flu shot.” I believe it even if it may not be true.  Tired.  Impatient.  Disinterested.  Sick.

I was insane this afternoon doing some housework to tidy up the place for our Christmas Eve party. Fortunately, States was up the hill and around doing and getting for the party so I can scream and blaspheme all I want.

Every little thing is an aggravation and you just bellow it out at the vacuum cleaner.  Any stupid, aggravating mistake you make or something isn’t cooperating and it’s bloody murder.  Then you sigh mightily and get on with it because you’re British.

But it’s tough slogging.  You keep going and manage to wrap your presents, an astounding feat of staying power.  It’s just that, knowing you Nana, you expect your gift to be wrapped. I’m not gonna mess with that and maybe get myself killed.

So we’re down to the last few precious hours til the birth of the baby Jesus two thousand and fourteen years ago. Right off the top, you know, it doesn’t get much more ridiculous than this.  Nana, I’m so tired.  So tired of Christmas.  Xmess!  Jesu Christo!

Avanti!  Gaarrgggggugugula….

That’s a lot of Gs, but that’s how I’m feeling.  I’m so tired.

10:34 a.m.  Christmas lights look good around here.  Tree solid.  Presents a-building under.  Funny how just looking at that reminds you of when you were a kid.   That’s when Chrismas was special, cheaper, and much less of a hassle.  Somebody else was taking care of everything.  So tired.

So that’s it. Hope you can make it to the party, Nana.  Hope I don’t catch you lying on the side of the road somewhere, eyes like two pee-holes in the snow.  That would be wrong. You can make it in your nightgown.  It’ll be fine.  Moving on.

Can't believe I used to drink and smoke
Can’t believe I used to drink and smoke

Here’s a picture of me at an early Christmas Eve party.  It was getting to the end of a good year and I was just turning 21. I mean 41.  Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, Nana, but I, like everyone else, am effected by the passage of time. Very strange effect.  And you wonder.  You do.  Where’s it all lead?

No response to the question needed.  We know where it leads.  It leads to the Christmas Eve party.  Get through that and you’re golden, sweet, awesome as well as privileged.  Tonight will be the 21st in a row.

See soon Nana.  Huggies and teddy bears.

Could you run that by me again?

Do You Still Have the Place On Saturn?

Struck as a good question. Une bonne question.  Somebody asked States at work.  You get wrapped up in it.  We do, and we’re hanging on to that place on Saturn despite the cost.  Despite the long ferry ride.  Takes most of a decade to get there, but no matter.

We like Saturn.  It’s super quiet and there’s nobody around to bother you if that’s what you want.  There’s a lot of rain in the winter but that’s no surprise.  It’s helium rain which makes your voice go kind of funny so that’ s different.  Singing in the helium rain.

There’s a store on Saturn, a couple actually, but it takes years to get there so we don’t bother much.  Some people find it a bit inconvenient.  We pack for a long vacation because there’s no choice.  It can be tough to get the time off but we work it out.

We wouldn’t dream of selling Saturn.  Even if we wanted to buyers can be hard to find.  A lot of people don’t like the commute and it’s true, ferry rates have gone way up the last few years.  Some people talk about building a bridge but that’ll never happen.  It’d be too expensive.

Saturn courtesy NASA
Saturn courtesy NASA

I think this shot was taken on a Tuesday night.  We were finally getting back to our Saturn home.

Always a lot of dusting and cobwebbing to do first getting in.  That’s okay because once you’re there time kind of stretches out.  No big rush to get on with your projects if you don’t especially feel like it.  A year’s nearly 30 years long.  You can waste time like anything and still have plenty left.  People on Saturn tend to be in for the long haul.

Yrs in the rain.