Pushing Out The Route

I want to thank the members of the academy.  And at this time I want to send out a special thank you to my fellow contestants.  You kept me honest, you made me better and I wouldn’t be here tonight without your support and encouragement.  Thank you for this great honour.


The pressure of previous failures
Why should that impact the now?
Amateurs die, that’s why
Eventually I came to the conclusion changes needed to be made
I couldn’t make them

He needed to tell them about Kanchenjunga
The five treasure houses of the snow and what happened to Rick
We’d have left him lying sweet in the snow except we couldn’t find the fucker
As if we looked
As if we looked, girls
As if we had the time and energy
This was now everybody’s epic and we were struggling for our lives

Rupal face, ’99 ‘Crystal Mountain’ etc…
What a big face, not enough rope and it was effing cold
We called this one the sing-song epic
It was up and down and all the way around
‘These huge events will look small on the larger stage of life’
Remember the Eiger Direct?
Looked simple enough
Straight up and down and a ringing good record
I’m still looking for it
These huge events will look smaller

I know what’s wrong
There’s nobody here
Logan, that big draw
It drew us all right
We lost Jim on that outing
Which was to discover the source of the sun
We never found it
We climbed down
We remembered Jim like we remembered Don
Neither of those bastards should ever have died
But what could we do we were moving on

I thought it rather a fanciful display by that meaning rather good, very good
Stretching across infinity which is what it looked like
I couldn’t believe it when I saw it through the scope
K2 of course but I was only dog fucking on the strip
I was running base and dicking the malfunctioning comms
Have you ever endeavoured a weather report with an effed up–
Shit, I didn’t think so, moles
That was a tough few days
Of course there’s a way down
We cleared out of Concordia in a hell of a cheery

Back home in a few days and spoiling for the Changabangers
We dubbed it ‘strange mountain’ because that’s how it looked
Strange, powerful and terrible, ‘Like the rest,’ Steve said
We slaughtered that prick
We annihilated old Pete and Joe with change left
That was our prideful thought
When we got down and viewed what had been going on below it was shocking
Effing Americans tore up like that again
Can’t any of you Norteamericanos do this here?
I swore I’d never come back to old Changabang
It was LaSud now

Fitzroy, what else?
Answer:  plenty
If we didn’t eff up on Aconcagua we weren’t worthy of the award
So it’s one thing at a time
Find dead mates
My young brother
It’s not as if you’re looking for them that’s not what I mean
But here he was
His gear was holding up well
My retard half brother from six years ago
It was good to see him, we consecrated to a crevasse and went to lie down
He was all desiccated, it was ou-ugy-eh?
‘I am sending his engagement ring to his bride.’
These Argies are extremely accommodating and they shouldn’t be
Not with the likes of us
Oh shit, out again
Back like rodents to the Khumbu
And the most difficult climbing you’ll ever do

The stupid thing was how they kept oozing out
Not having seen Carl for years I thought he was dead
Right as always, that’s me
It was three shitty miles from AB to the face in mush
We had to be careful
We’re not gonna’ be complacent along here, it’s tricky
Sherpa Dorje say:  ‘I know I will die one day but climbing is my life.’
He was right

Author: Steven Brown


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