Kirk Douglas

A hundred doesn’t mean much, especially when you are.  I’ve no idea, but if you cross me in this deal I’ll see you hang.  I’d trade the bunch of you for a couple of campfire girls.

100 years old today.  Born 1916.  Kirk Douglas.  Incredible.  Mom, Dad.  You’re driving me insane.  Pop…  You better have something for me.  I got the bullets.

Kirk was the king of the Capital.  And the Orpheum too.  The Paramount.  The Vogue.  The Cascades.  The Hillcrest.  The Circle.  The Varsity.  The Palisades.  The Dominion.  The Studio.  The Bayview.  The Ridge.  The Belmont.  The Clova.  The Dunbar.  The Fraser.  The Strand.  The Stanley.  The Hollywood.  The Colonial.  The Lougheed Drive-in.

It doesn’t matter now.  You haven’t played straight with me for five minutes since I met you.  And keep that gunsel away from me.  I’ll kill him.  There ain’t but one way out of here and this here is it.

When you side with a man you stick with him.  If you can’t do that you’re like some animal.  You’re finished.  We’re finished.  Blast.  Madness.  Madness.  We were talking about a lot more money than this.  You gotta get your offer way up there in the air where it belongs.

Those are our troops, General.  Think it over.  You’ve got five minutes.  Then you’re either in or you’re out.  For keeps!  That’s right.  Joe couldn’t find a prayer in the bible.  Let’s go down to the bar.  We can cool off while we try to impress each other.  I hate surprises myself.

He was good in “Out of The Past.  He had moments in “Man With A Horn” and was good in “Paths of Glory”.  Then he really got famous.  Frank Gorshin used to do a great impression of Kirk Douglas.  And look what happened to Frank Gorshin.  He never got to act in “Spartacus”.

Just as a quick aside do you ever get fed up with predictive text?  I do.  Who started it and if we find that individual, as Jimmy Pattison says, “Send him to me.”  Or her.  Send her to me.

I won’t obey that order.  You make me sick with your heroics.  You’ve got the stench of death about you.  You carry it around in that packsack like the plague.  I stick my neck out for nobody.  Fasten your seat belts.  It’s going to be a bumpy night.

Of all the gin joints in all the world and she walks into mine.  High-ho Silver.  Only a sap’d head out on a caper with a dame and a dog.  You go down there, General.  You go down there.  Stellaaaaaa….

I don’t care if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.  You will not like me.  I’m sorry, sir.  Those are the numbers.  Sucking the life outta real cops because you don’t have the guts to be one yourself.  Let’s go!

There’s no place like home.  I coulda been a contender.  If you’d come to me the people who ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day.  We want Angel.  We’re not hanging onto anything.  We are advancing constantly.  America loves a winner.  And will not tolerate a loser.

What are you rebelling against?  Whadya got?  My army of beggars, cutthroats and thieves is ready to march.  I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, but it can be done.  Never get out of the boat.

And that’s just about all the old movie dialogue I can remember.  Some of it’s Kirk’s, some of it isn’t.  Doesn’t matter.  It’s what the man represents.  This is a tribute.  I am Spartacus.  It’s the dimple in the chin.  It’s a world unto itself.  Always.  They’re paying for it, you eat it.

Take the rest of the day off, man.  You’ve earned it.  100.  I salute you.  C’est incroyable.

kirkdouglas

 

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Americans traditionally love to fight.  All real Americans love the sting of battle.  You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.  You don’t think I’d go into battle with lose change in my  pocket, do you?  Feeding you, Jack.  Feeding you.  Ya sweat your guts out!  The great spirit moved in me and I decided to spare these villages.  I love the smell of napalm in the morning.  What happened to your mission, Captain?  Nha Trang forget all about you?  We don’t need no stinking badges.  May the force be with you.

Big thanks to CSNicol for additional old movie quote help

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About Steven Brown

Literature. Guest Contestant
This entry was posted in Absurdities, Actors, Certainties, I'm gonna cry, Motion Pictures and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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