Boredom

It comes out of the night. Especially the night before it’s December 10, 2015 and you’re due to buy a Christmas tree.  And you wonder. Hopefully, it’ll go okay.

Remember when scholars of the Queen’s English derided “hopefully”? As a way of vocalizing and expressing the idea of hope?  That it wasn’t good enough?  It wasn’t British?  That the proper way of speaking is, “It is to be hoped”?  Remember?  Let’s forget it then.  But “hopefully” has made huge strides in the last several decades.  It means what it says.

DSCN3570Nobody’s tried to contact us about this.  We’re here.  Go ahead.  It’s when ‘you’re struggling in the moment’ that clichés ‘come home to roost’.

4:25 pm.  Lord Byng’s not a bad lord.  From what we see from the “Staff Parking Lot Do Not Enter”.  We ignore that forbidding sign and drive right in.  All you teachers, we don’t much care about your rules.  We’re here to obtain a Christmas tree.  Hopefully.

I was looking up at the great edifice of Lord Byng high school.  It’s been here a long time.  A fine gentleman, a couple of them, actually, that I had the pleasure and privilege of knowing and who have died, but they were very old, attended Lord Byng in the 1930s.  Exact same school in the exact same place.DSCN3573Their lives are forfeit and their skins are stuffed but if that was your sailing ship and if that was your grizzly bear you might revise your opinion of taxidermy, mister.

The taxidermy shop is gone and so is the taxidermist.  For years, years ago, I remember driving past the place.  It used to be right across the street from “Central Park”.  I never knew either why they called it “Central Park”.  Central to what?  The park’s on the extreme keening edge of the western extremity of the City of Burnaby.  A lot of things make no sense.

The students attending the Christmas tree lot were friendly and helpful.  They were professional, but not professional students.  They were the real thing.  One fine young gentleman packed our preferred, usual, semi-scrawny selection to the trunk of our vehicle.  Big trunk and with one of the back seats down it disappeared right in there and we dropped the trunk-lid with a satisfying ka-thunk.

DSCN3578Don’t just walk away, Renée.  It’s taxidermy time.  Lost Sunday.  It’s dead.  Not interested.  Or something poignant, something out of Satie.  Mystery moments.

100

samoyeddogs is 100 posts old today.  I mean yesterday.  A century.  A c-note.  What’s it mean?  I’ve no idea, Jock.   ‘A mystery wrapped in an enigma…’  That sounds accurate.  About as accurate as anything else going on around here.  So little has changed I hardly know where to begin.

One thing at the site we’ve wanted to accomplish is to expose clichés for what they are.  100 per-cent gold.  We strive for cliché and I know you’ll want to join me in saying one thing.  There’s little doubt the best stuff on the site is 100 per-cent cliché.  Okay, that’s a couple of things.  Not as easy as it sounds either.  I appreciate that.

I’ve noticed a more serious tone creeping into the site.  Not sure what that’s about, and not sure anybody around here knows either, or that much of anything can be done about it.  I doubt it’ll last.  Some of us are half-thinking it might be a good time to pack things up around here.  Surely you’re joking, Mr. Folderol.  A world without samoyeddogs?  Yip yip, bark howl.  Don’t do it, buddy.  I will sit up nice.

So here comes a big muchas gracias to all the followers of samoyeddogs human, bot, spam, mistake.  All are welcome.  Lost track after 100,000 of you kind things and please keep the love flowing.  It feels good.  Love, as you know, is one of the pillars holding up this massive undertaking.

I don’t know.  I just don’t know.  It could be that I don’t want to know, but, in any event, I’m just not sure.  Not sure at all.  And between not being sure, and not knowing, well, there has to be somebody out there who can figure this out for us.  I’m always looking to make that connection.

That’s what I’m counting on.  One thing I do know.  There’s no substitute for vacuousness. And the goal remains the same.  Keep it coming.  An oasis of inanity in a sea of insanity.  Maybe we’ll just mix in here and double down on that.

Nov2015More to come…  taxidermy

 

Daesh

Is that it?  That’s the best you can do?  Just put it up there, your testosterone-fuelled blood-lust?  And how you poison the mind.  Eats its own sick, dog.  Merry Christmas in Daesh-land.

You murderous clowns are worse than the worst of the Irrational Rangers of Assassination (IRA) and you’re not even drunk.  I’ve no pity for you.  You’re up there with the Nazis.  Good job.  The drugs are working.

Shadow of The SashThe mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.

This thing about “infidels” and “apostates”.  Are we to languish in our holes and not take issue while the true infidels and apostates act with impunity?  It’s sad, really.

Nemo me impuni lacessit.  I believe it.  You believe it.

A scourge.  Vile.  Words aren’t adequate to describe a half-wit pounding an ancient statue with a sledge hammer.  ‘The vandals took the handles’.  Such a concentration of filth.  Oh my, but it smells.

But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth.  They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes“.

Yea, it is written.  They shall also be a portion for Hellfire missiles arriving at 995 mph.  Technology won’t save us.  But it doesn’t hurt to put the wind up this scum.  Vaporize him who can.  Feliz Navidad.

Never has the world seen such a concentration of small penises in grown men.  A big part of it has to be sordid, sick sexual frustation.  The only way this vermin can get laid is by rape.  Joyeux Nöel.

'Orange Skies Carnivals and Cotton Candy'
‘Orange Skies Carnivals and Cotton Candy’