Wayne et al.

Friday August 2, 2013.  Saturna Island.  Whether or not we want to see Wayne.  He wants to see us, do we want to see him?  Answer. Answer in the rain, ladies and gentlemen.  I pick up the phone and give him the call.  He’s okay with it.  We might not be coming by.  It’s raining and he’s not in any danger of riding his motorcycle out here either.  If we feel like we need a tub of yogurt from the store we may come by and see if he’s around.  He’s got things to do although, with the rain, he can’t do the main thing he was planning to do.  Some sort of paid piece of work, is my guess.  He doesn’t say what it is, but he’ll be ‘in and out’.  We leave it at that.  Saved.

We already have to leave tomorrow and it’s too bad.  Another week would be good.  We got some work done but I haven’t written a word except this.  It takes a while to establish a routine and if you can avoid doing that by not being here long enough, is this something like a non-accomplishment?  That’s pretty much what my writing’s about.

Took a small hike out past Fiddler’s Cove under the overcast sky.  Always nice in the woods with the views, the moss, the arbutus, the trail hammered through by generations of deer and goats.  The area is actually owned by the original inhabitants of these parts but no one lives in there.

I find it satisfying, rewarding and a confidence-builder to finally be chopping some wood over here from the newly fallen trees we took down to improve the view and the safety of the little cottage, brought to you by “Dr. Sunshine”, the wise-in-years lumberman who came by and helped us out and left the trees in nice, wood burning stove sized rounds.  I haven’t hacked into any of those rounds until today, eight months later.  The splitter axe works wonderfully well on this magnificent wood.  I am a woodsman at last.  As I was saying to my bodyguard just earlier, “I never made it to Scouts.  Barely made it through Cubs.”  I remember in earlier days I always hated trying to chop wood with an axe that just wasn’t doing the job.

I was just thinking I could write my column from here.  Except that I don’t have a column.  Everybody’s a columnist now.  The sordid net is awash in ’em.  I think they call ’em blogs.  People want to give it away, and everybody has their own opinion.  But the one opinion that really counts is yours, right?  Thing is it ain’t true.

Found the remains of a raptor on the trail today.  Picked clean.  Nothing left but the two fairly large wings.  Got out-raptored by a bigger raptor, I’d say.  Just the feathery wings were left and the bone and cartilage of the body were right there, reddish-hued, for all the forest to see.  Nearby were a lot of feathers where Confederate States surmises the battle of the raptors went down.  I had to admit this was probably the scene else how could that carcass and all those feathers, which weren’t right beside each other, get there by accident?  Good call.

We gave up on the trail as we’d started late and I wasn’t interested myself in hiking the length of the island, which, I was pretty sure, was the route of this trail because the deer and goats are everywhere.  It would have been a few kilometers to Mt. David and I said, “Let’s do the whole thing but get an earlier start on it and maybe bring a sandwich or something.”  So we turned back.  States saw an old pileated woodpecker, grey hairs in it’s red top-tuft, dunting as they do with his beak atop some old snag.  In the quiet forest that dunting sound carries a long way.

THE LAST RIDE

May 3, 2013.  The Last Ride.  Nice day and great painting.  Just back from the Prado where we crapped our pants several times but the guards are really great about that.  Lucky us because these Spaniards are peeved these days and have a right to be.  They’re broke. I bet you can’t even get a part time job at the Prado anymore, like if you’re a student or something?  Forget it.  Mr. Goya is a talent, let me leave you with that.  205 years changes nothing.

The Third of May 1808
The Third of May 1808

MAD JOURNAL

April 18, 2013.  Mad Journal.  For the incensed, by the incensed.  Five years.  Five years and the space of five long winters since those inebriate trolls sent my life sideways and down.  We will remember and the lessons remain the same.  Bad drives out good and mediocrity loathes talent.  Mediocrity must triumph.  So screw mediocrity.  It can never win.

Today’s headline:  Dr. X Has Been.  That’s right.  Came over for dinner the other night.  Dr. X is an interesting story.  He came back into our lives in the last couple of years after we hadn’t seen him, really, for at least twenty years.  He was around and so were we but we sort of spun out of each others’ sphere.  We have a lot of history with Dr. X but it is old history. Dr. X got married and had a couple of children.  We met his bride, once, years ago.  We knew that for years he has been selling and buying and developing millions of dollars in residential real estate around the west side.  One day we stumble on him in the neighbourhood.  The Real Estate Board building isn’t far from here and it turns out he is frequently in the neighbourhood.  His girlfriend lives across the street from us.  His marriage went bad but he still lives under the same roof as his wife.  Now his older child is at university and his younger just graduating from high school.  He and his family have moved frequently over the years, house to house within his area of operations, you might call it.  We have studied what Dr. X has told us about his life and have concluded that there is something rootless and transient in it and that money doesn’t buy happiness.

Dr. X contacts us after several weeks of not hearing from him and he appears down in the dumps.  He says he is going in for surgery this week.  When he comes for dinner he gives us something of the details.  He had an altercation with his son that led to physical contact and Dr. X managed to stumble backwards on a staircase in the family home where the fight was taking place, tearing the Achilles tendon in his left leg.  He already has a world famous chronic condition that causes his left hand and forearm to tremble uncontrollably, and now this.  We feel for him which is why we thought a free meal of excellent food and a couple of glasses of good wine wouldn’t do him any harm.  He’s an old friend with problems.

His phone rings at one point in the evening and he says he needs to take this call, but doesn’t move from the sofa.  We get a little glimpse into real estate arcanum.

“No.  He owns other properties so it’s not like a fire sale or anything like that…  ”

“It’s all under RS-5 zoning…  ”

“No.  It has to be in the 1.7s before he responds.  What are you people looking for?”

“2298.  Subject this, subject that…  No.  A low-ball is not gonna’ work.”

“If you people are looking for someone desperate, forget it.  This guy is very fair.  I’d like to take your offer tomorrow.”

“Buy the property first then look at the plan.  He wants the land to be separate from the plan.  Do that and you’re looking at going through ten months with city hall…  ”

“Yes.  Somewhere in the neighbourhood of 2.4…  ”

“The plan is stamped and ready to go…  ”

“Maybe he’ll go for it.  Maybe he won’t.  But anyway, just write the offer…  ”

“This guy doesn’t want to deal with that.  He’s not desperate.  He’s got other projects.  He wants to enjoy his retirement.  If the price is right, if the bidding is right…  ”

“Dunbar.  The length.  The depth.  It’s still an advantage.  50 by 120 equals more property tax…  It’ll be a new home on a slightly smaller lot…  It’s convenient to stores…  It’s walkable…  There’s a community centre…  ”

“2598.  2518?  No.  Too many low-ball offers and now he wants to just take it off the market…  Again I ask:  Who is your buyer and what are they looking for?”

Good question.  Dr X. leaves surprisingly early.  Last time he was here he stayed and stayed.  We had to give him the rush when it was near midnight.  He moves slowly with his sore foot.  I shake his hand.

“Take care, Dr. X., and don’t worry.  You’re gonna’ be fine.”  States gives him a hug.

April 16, 2013.  We’re driving east on Twelfth past the hospital at about five o’clock in the afternoon.  The sun has just broken through the clouds.  There’s an older white guy in a wheelchair stopped on the north side sidewalk.  He’s wearing a white T-shirt and blue sweat pants, has an enormous gut and a really bad haircut.  His round face is shining in the sun.  I Look a little closer as we pass and see that his left arm has been amputated below the elbow.

“Diabetes, I’d say,” I say to States, sitting beside me on the passenger side.  “And I think I’ve got problems.”  And it’s true.  I think I’ve got problems.  But I don’t have this guy’s problems.

April 11, 2013.  BC Book Prizes Soirée.  ZZZzzzz…  I take the time to drink a Löwenbräu and, knowing no one, and for no reason, leave after less than fifteen minutes.  Well, what the hoot, I went.  I showed the flag.  I scanned the field of greybeards and drove our crippled ship home.  Come on, Esteban.  You only saw one grey beard.  It was that you knew no one.  Even if they unanimously, and they were, they had to be, kind, caring, intelligent human beings passionate about literature, you knew no one.  And you felt you could have a better time on the upper deck than at a bar on Granville Street, with the unknown.  So go.

Earlier Confederate States was applying unction to a slight, temporary blemish, like a zit or something, on her face just to the right of her beautiful mouth, with a Q-tip, at the bathroom mirror as we discuss the situation.  She’s heading in for an evening shift.  She’s in a phlegmatic, doubting mood.  I know why.  Me.  In the last five years I’ve cost her tens of thousands of dollars with my neediness.  She’s okay with it.  She just isn’t immediately buying into my latest brilliant idea.  It’s just an idea.  She’s skeptical.  She should be.